To Surrender

October 8, 2025

Almost three years ago, I retired from pastoral ministry in the United Methodist Church to work for Aspire Leadership as the Director of Research & Communication.

It was February when my wife and I moved into our Class C RV and started a new adventure, wondering where God would take us.

I finished writing my first book, Three Years: Making A Difference in the Time You Have Left. I always thought publishing my first book was going to be a grand celebration, but it wasn’t. It was stressful as the book sales were slow, getting reviews was like “pulling teeth,” and I was coming up empty on speaking engagements. I checked the numbers every day. I prayed. I tried to post some on social media, but it was outside my wheelhouse.

I did not like marketing; I only wanted to write. I was often discouraged. I knew God had given me the words I wrote and that the book would help people in their walk with Christ and others. I didn’t understand why it wasn’t taking off. I was driving my wife crazy.

Along with the publishing, my wife and I moved into our Class A camper. There were times I struggled as a husband believing I should be able to provide my wife with a house. She seemed perfectly content in our camper and the money we were saving allowed us to travel to some great places, but now and then, I would worry about the future, what was next, where I was going to land.

At some point in the year, my wife and I decided to choose a word that we would carry with us, keep in front of us to guide, focus, and grow us. My word was SURRENDER.

I knew I needed to surrender more to Christ. I had to let go of my expectations for the book I had written. I had to let go of my fears of the future. My worries. My plans for tomorrow. How I saw the next several years going.  I had to trust God with anything and everything. I knew this was what was missing.

I have surrendered a lot to God over the years, but not everything. The last couple years I have asked God, through His Holy Spirit, to help me surrender what’s left, whatever it may be that I’m holding on to, that is distracting me from this moment God has given me.

I felt I wanted to get immersed. I had grown up Catholic and had been baptized as a baby. I believe wholeheartedly that I was baptized. When I confirmed my faith in the Catholic Church during my second year of college in North Carolina, I felt God sit down next to me. It was as real as if you came into my home and sat down next to me on the couch. There was no doubt I had come very close to the God of the universe that day.

But as an outward sign of my desire to surrender everything to Christ, I felt I wanted to reaffirm my baptism, to be immersed, to have the water flow over all of me, washing away the old, and declaring my faith and commitment to following Jesus.

This past weekend, I went to a Men’s Spiritual Retreat. I did not want to go, but by Friday night I was seeing God at work in people’s lives, transforming men and opening them up cry out to Jesus for healing and new beginnings. That Saturday afternoon, there were four individuals who were going to be baptized by immersion. I stood there and applauded them. When the last one was finished, I was convicted and went up to our leader and friend and said, “Brian, I want this!”

I quickly kicked off my shoes and socks, threw off my jeans, and in my underwear, in front of fifty guys, got into the water and was immersed. I prayed that God would fill me with the Holy Spirit in ways I never thought possible, and I thanked God for pouring into my life once again.

I left the weekend retreat ready to see what God had next and with a new resolve to surrender daily, hourly, perhaps by the minute, and simply “Trust in the Lord with all [my heart] and lean not on [my] own understanding; in all [my] ways submit to Him.” I knew if I did this “He [would] make my paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

My favorite scripture is Ephesians 3:20: "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us." Whatever God has planned for me, for my writing, for my family, for my ministry, I can be assured that it is far better than anything I could come up with on my own. And I promise you, I can dream and imagine a lot!

Believe and know, whatever God has planned for you is abundantly more than you can ask or think or dream or imagine. God has shown me this time and time again throughout my life that the words of James are true: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (4:8). I drew closer to God this past weekend and He drew closer to me. You and I will experience a greater intimacy with God in the days ahead if we only take the next step, whatever that is for each one of us, in surrendering and trusting Him with all of it!