To Surrender Again

October 15, 2025

Last week, I shared a portion of my ongoing journey toward surrendering anything and everything that distracts me from this moment God has given me — anything that distracts me from the story God is writing with my life.

As an outward sign of my continued desire to surrender to Christ, I reaffirmed my baptism and was immersed recently at a Men’s Spiritual Retreat. Once more, I declared my faith and commitment to following Jesus.

The moment we come to Christ is not the end of the journey — it is just the beginning. Now, we must follow Christ. We must follow His teachings. We must surrender and yield to the power of the God who loved us so much that He sent “…His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

Once we have accepted Christ into our hearts, we must surrender to Him and allow Christ, through the Holy Spirit, to guide and mold us. We must learn to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5–6).

I continue this journey of constant surrender, day by day. It is a lifelong journey — a lifelong wrestling.

I Thessalonians 4:3 tells us, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified,” or made holy. Therefore, God is going to show us things within ourselves that we need to deal with — things holding us back from being Christlike. He will use our experiences and even our suffering to teach us the areas in which we need to grow. He will challenge us through His Word in how we should live and act.

Sometimes we fail to surrender. We love to be right, to get our own way, to fight for ourselves and figure things out on our own. We don’t like being told what to do.

Max Lucado writes:

When my daughter was a toddler, I used to take her to a park not far from our apartment. One day, as she was playing in a sandbox, an ice-cream salesman approached us. I purchased her a treat, and when I turned to give it to her, I saw her mouth was full of sand. Where I had intended to put a delicacy, she had put dirt.

Did I love her with dirt in her mouth? Absolutely. Was she any less of my daughter with dirt in her mouth? Of course not. Was I going to allow her to keep the dirt in her mouth? No way. I loved her right where she was, but I refused to leave her there. I carried her over to the water fountain and washed out her mouth. Why? Because I love her.

God does the same for us. He holds us over the fountain. “Spit out the dirt, honey,” our Father urges. “I’ve got something better for you.” And so He cleanses us of filth — immorality, dishonesty, prejudice, bitterness, greed. We don’t enjoy the cleansing; sometimes we even opt for the dirt over the ice cream. “I can eat dirt if I want to!” we pout and proclaim. Which is true — we can. But if we do, the loss is ours. God has a better offer.

The question we must ask is: What have I not surrendered to God? What am I holding back? Why?

Over the last three decades — ever since I felt God say to me, “‘I have loved you,’ says the Lord!” and I gave my heart to Christ — I have continued to struggle to surrender more. Some moments have been easier than others. Sometimes I surrender something to God only to pick it up again the next day, or a few months later, only to have to surrender it once more.

Here are a few of many moments of surrender in my life:

Reappointed to Rock Hall, Maryland: It felt like the end of the world — leaving friends and stepping into the unknown. I had pastored one of the fastest-growing churches in the area for the last seven years and was now being moved to a three-point charge — three small churches on the Chesapeake Bay. My wife and I prayed and felt God clearly telling us to surrender, even though it went against our plans and stirred up our fears. We surrendered and went — and we were blessed.

My wife’s cancer diagnosis: I couldn’t fix it. I had to surrender it to God and take each day one step at a time, trusting that He would walk with us through it all. I went with her to every appointment and did my best to support her, trusting God to do the rest. Now, ten years later, she is cancer-free.

After my father’s death: I tried to handle the grief on my own and stay one step ahead of the pain, but eventually everything began to fall apart. I had to surrender to God — I couldn’t overcome it in my own strength. As I prayed and let go, God led me to seek help and counseling, surrounded me with His peace and healing, and ultimately restored my joy.

Writing my first book: God wouldn’t let me write until I gave up my own dreams — of bestsellers and speaking tours — and surrendered everything to Him. When I finally told God I’d write whatever He gave me, even if no one else ever read it, that’s when the words began to flow.

Jealousy: When a close friend bought a beautiful beach house, jealousy began to take root in my heart. I avoided him, resenting what he had that I didn’t. But God gently called me to surrender that jealousy — to let go of comparing myself to others. He prompted me to meet my friend for lunch, confess what I was feeling, and ask his forgiveness for the wall I had built between us. After that conversation, the jealousy was gone.

Surrendering my children: This has been the hardest surrender of all — recognizing that I cannot protect them 24/7 or force them to make the right choices. I pray daily that they will have a strong relationship with Christ and a church family where they can grow, but I know I cannot make that happen. I can only surrender them to God, pray for them faithfully, and trust that He loves them even more than I do.

There have been thousands of moments in my relationship with Christ when I’ve surrendered something — and moments when I’ve picked it back up again. God continually convicts me to surrender anew.

My prayer journals over the past thirty years are filled with phrases like: “I surrender, Lord!” “Help me surrender, Lord!” “I want to give You control!” “Forgive me for trying to follow my own plans!” “Help Deb and me to be in Your will!”

It is a daily battle.

The last three years have been no different. Almost three years ago, I retired from pastoral ministry in the United Methodist Church to work for Aspire Leadership as Director of Research & Communication. That February, my wife and I moved into our Class C RV and began a new adventure, wondering where God would take us.

I have struggled with what the future might hold. Deb and I love to travel, and we constantly talked about the places we wanted to go. What if we never make it there? What if surrendering to God’s will means those dreams aren’t part of His plan?

Would we always live in a camper? What kind of man was I if I couldn’t provide my wife with a house? Would Aspire Leadership last? What would I do if it failed? What if His plan was that we never settle?

Why is my book selling so slowly? What can I do to get it into more hands? I need a plan. I want to leave a legacy. But what if publishing bestsellers and speaking is not part of His plan?What if?

It scared me to think about surrendering more — surrendering my plans and goals for the future, giving up everything to God and His plan for my life.

Now, my wife Debbie and I are very different in this area. She has surrendered much more than I have, and she experiences something I have rarely known — contentment.

If we never travel again, if our plans never come to fruition, if we live in a camper until death — Deb is content. The only thing she desires is to listen to God and spend time with her family and children.

I have never been content. I’ve always wanted more. I’m the type of person planning our next vacation while still on the current one. The type who can’t celebrate a milestone like publishing a first book because I’m already working on the next.

But over these past few years — as we’ve moved into a camper, given away half our belongings, and stored the rest — I’ve been learning. As I’ve struggled to surrender everything, to give God all my future even if my dreams aren’t fulfilled, I’ve begun to understand that true peace only comes through surrender.

There is nothing in this world — no bestseller, no trip abroad, no house, no amount of money, no plan — that will bring me peace or contentment.

Isaiah wrote, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (26:3). And Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27). Such peace, such contentment, such joy can only be found in Christ.

Jeremiah stated, “Blessed is the man or woman who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. They are like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit” (17:7-8).

Paul writes, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (4:6-7).

When I was writing this message, the song “Control” by Highlands Worship came on the radio. I had never heard it before, but I felt God confirming this message. May this be our prayer…

Take heartWeary soulLift your tired eyesLay down fears of old

Be stillTroubled mindPeace will rest uponStorms that rage inside

What good is it to gain the whole world, but lose your soul?What power but His can counter the weight of sin's hold?These things I'll never knowI'd rather just give You control

Oh, Lord, I give You controlTake my whole heart and my soulOh, Lord, I give You controlTake my whole heart and my soul