Lessons from Shenandoah: Step Across Part I

July 9, 2025

When my boys and I go backpacking in the Shenandoah Mountains, we often come across streams or rocky chasms that block our path. Sometimes we must follow a stream for a couple hundred yards just to find a shallow enough place to cross safely. Other times, we encounter deep crevices in the rock—narrow gaps that seem to split the trail. Some of them look like the entrance to caves, possibly home to any number of wild creatures. My boys especially enjoy the challenge of leaping over these gaps, testing their courage and balance.

As I reflected on those moments—those literal steps across the divide—I began to think about the deeper chasms we encounter in life. The ones that exist not between rocks, but between people. And I realized how difficult it can be to step across those.

Two of the most challenging—and most important—chasms Christ calls us to cross are:

1. Broken relationships—the pain and distance created by past hurt, betrayal, or misunderstanding.

2. Relationships with those who are different—people who don’t look like us, think like us, or live like us.

   
   

And yet, time and again throughout Scripture and history, we see the power of God enabling people to bridge these very divides. With God’s help, they stepped across the distance, found healing, and discovered not only reconciliation with others—but a deeper experience of God Himself in the process.

Christ calls us to be bridge-builders, to step across what separates us. Because often, on the other side of that brave step, is grace, restoration, and the unmistakable presence of God.

First, We Must “STEP ACROSS” The Chasm of Broken Relationships.

One of the most powerful examples of stepping across a seemingly impossible divide occurred on October 2, 2006, at the West Nickel Mines School in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Many of us remember the tragedy that unfolded that day. A gunman, Charles Carl Roberts, entered the Amish one-room schoolhouse and opened fire on ten girls between the ages of 6 and 13. Five of them lost their lives before Roberts turned the gun on himself.

As horrific as the event was, what followed captured the world’s attention in a different and unexpected way. The response of the Amish community—especially the families of the victims—became a story as significant as the tragedy itself. That very day, the grandfather of one of the girls was overheard gently telling younger family members, “We must not think evil of this man.”

In the hours that followed, Amish neighbors visited the shooter’s family—not with anger, but with compassion. They extended forgiveness to Roberts’ widow, parents, and in-laws. One Amish man was seen holding the father of the shooter, who was weeping uncontrollably, and comforting him—for nearly an hour.

The Amish community went on to set up a charitable fund to support the family of the man who had taken so much from them. Around 30 members of the Amish community attended Charles Roberts’ funeral. In turn, Marie Roberts—the gunman’s widow—was one of the few outsiders invited to attend the funeral of one of the young victims.

Their forgiveness was not without controversy. Some critics questioned how such complete mercy could be extended to someone who had shown no remorse. But the Amish weren’t waiting for an apology. They were living out the radical grace of Jesus—the same grace that steps across the deepest wounds, the most painful losses, and the widest divides to say, “You are still loved.”

In that moment, they didn’t just speak of Christ. They revealed Him.

“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing...”

Enos Miller, grandfather of two girls, Mary Liz (8) and Lena (7), who were both killed by the gunman, was asked by a reporter if he had forgiven the gunman. Miller replied, “In my heart, yes," he said, explaining it was “through God's help.” “...but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

It is only by looking to the cross, remembering the example Jesus set for each of us, that such forgiveness is possible.

“Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”

It is only through the power of God—through the work of the Holy Spirit within us—that anyone can step across a chasm as deep and painful as the one the Amish community faced in 2006. Their forgiveness was not natural; it was supernatural.

While most of us may never face a tragedy of that magnitude, we will all encounter chasms in our relationships—moments when cracks, crevices, and deep divides form between us and others. Sometimes those breaks are caused by someone else’s actions. Sometimes they’re the result of our own words, choices, or pride. And often, it’s a combination of both—a slow erosion that leads to distance, misunderstanding, or hurt.

Whatever the cause, these relational chasms are real. And they can only be crossed through the grace of God and the courage He gives us to take the first step.

Kerry and Chris Shook, in their book, One Month To Live, talk about three mountains that exist, that get in our way, that often create chasms that cause us to step back rather than “STEP ACROSS.”

THE MOUNTAIN OF MISUNDERSTANDING

We are all human—and that means we are all flawed. None of us listens perfectly, and that alone opens the door to miscommunication and misunderstanding. Add to that our natural tendency to want others to think, speak, and act like we do, and it’s no surprise that conflict arises. Yet God, in His wisdom and creativity, has made each of us unique—with different gifts, personalities, perspectives, and passions. That diversity, while beautiful, also leads to differences of opinion.

Too often, instead of leaning in—of sitting down, listening, and seeking to understand the other person’s point of view—we pull back. We make assumptions. We focus on what separates us rather than what unites us. We fail to see the value in the person sitting across the table.

As a result, relationships suffer. Within our families, our churches, and our communities, some of the deepest divisions exist not because of deep betrayal, but because of simple misunderstandings—because of an unwillingness to look past imperfections, careless words, or conflicting viewpoints. Instead of seeking understanding, we choose distance. And that distance becomes a chasm that only grace can bridge.

James 1:19 states, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

THE MOUNTAIN OF ME-FIRST

How often our own self gets in the way. We want things done our way. We crave control. We desire recognition and attention. Instead of asking, “What can I do for my spouse, my church family, or my community?” we often find ourselves wondering, “What can they do for me?”

Yet the Christian life is a call to something radically different—it’s a call to die to self. And that death isn’t quick or easy. It’s a slow, often painful process—much like crucifixion—where the old self doesn’t give up without a fight. The grip of pride, ego, and self-centeredness lingers.

That’s why we must continually ask God to help us—daily, even moment by moment—to push “me” aside. We need His Spirit to shift our focus from ourselves to others, teaching us to serve rather than be served, to love rather than seek to be loved, to give rather than demand. Only then can we truly follow the path Christ walked—one of humility, sacrifice, and grace.

Paul wrote, in Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

THE MOUNTAIN OF MISTAKES

We all make mistakes. Just as we wrestle with misunderstandings and the pull of self-centeredness, each of us carries faults and flaws. We all fall short. And at some point, every one of us has been hurt by the words or actions of another.

When that happens, it’s easy—natural even—to let bitterness take root. We build walls around our hearts in an attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt again. But that bitterness doesn’t guard us—it isolates us. It becomes a mountain between us and others, a barrier that grows harder and harder to step across.

If we’re going to live in authentic, Christ-centered relationships, we must learn to allow room for one another’s mistakes. We must offer the same grace that we ourselves have received through Jesus Christ. When others fail us—when they disappoint, fall short, or cause pain—we cannot let resentment take hold. Instead, we must choose forgiveness.

Grace bridges the chasm. Forgiveness tears down the mountain. And love makes it possible to walk across to the other side.

Paul tells us in Colossians 3:13, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Understand that there will be times when the chasm is simply too deep, the gorge too wide to cross—at least for now. There will be moments when the other person won’t listen, continues in selfishness, or refuses to receive the forgiveness you offer.

And it’s important to remember: forgiving and loving someone does not guarantee reconciliation. It doesn’t mean the relationship will be restored. It doesn’t excuse harmful behavior. It doesn’t mean giving up the pursuit of justice. And it certainly doesn’t mean placing yourself in a position to be wounded again by someone who has already caused you pain.

Forgiveness is a step of obedience and healing—it’s about releasing the burden from your heart, not denying the reality of the hurt. Love can be extended from a distance. Boundaries can still stand. And even when restoration isn’t possible, God honors the choice to forgive.

As Lewis Smedes writes, in his book, The Art of Forgiving:

…when we are the ones who have been hurt, we simply cannot afford to wait for the other person to come to his senses before we begin healing ourselves…Each time we grope our reluctant way through the minor miracle of forgiving, we are imitating [God’s] style…When we forgive, we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner we set free is us…

You must remember that it is not about them. It is not about their response, their behavior. Mother Teresa once wrote,

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

We listen, put others first, and forgive because God commands us, because God modeled the way we should live through His Son, Jesus Christ.

On the night of His arrest, celebrating the Passover meal with His disciples, Jesus knelt and washed the disciples’ feet, including the feet of the one who He knew would soon betray Him. John writes, John 13:1, “It was just before the Passover Feast...Jesus knew that the time had come for Him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved His own who were in the world, He now showed them the full extent of His love.”

Jesus said to His disciples in John 13: 14-15, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”

We Must “STEP ACROSS” The Chasm of Broken Relationships. This is only possible through the power of the cross.

It’s time to take the first step.

It’s time to write that letter you’ve been putting off. To make that phone call you've been avoiding. It’s time to truly cherish the people God has placed in your life. To serve your neighbor with love. To delight in your spouse. To sit down and talk—really talk—with your children.

It’s time to forgive—deeply and sincerely—the ones who have hurt you, and to release the bitterness that’s been weighing you down. It’s time to ask for forgiveness from those you’ve wronged, to own your mistakes with humility and grace.

It’s time to lay down pride, to push “self” aside, and to let Christ lead the way.

Step up the mountain and allow God to fill you with His Spirit, His strength. It is time to “STEP ACROSS” whatever chasm exists between you and another...TODAY.