Be Her by Ella Langley: A Lesson in Self-Leadership
October 28, 2026
I love country music. I connect with many of the songs. Some lead me to think about God and the many things for which I am grateful. Others lead me to think about my wife and the relationship—the love—we share. Still others lead me to think about my children, the woods, rivers, and mountains I love, and how special each moment can be if we simply open our eyes to see and our hearts to experience.
One country singer I really enjoy is Ella Langley. She has a song called “Be Her.” When I first heard the song, I thought she was singing about a neighbor, a friend, or an acquaintance—someone she was envious of and wanted to be like. But the more I listened, the more I began to see it differently.
I came to believe the song could be understood as Langley singing about the person she wants to become but struggles to be.
I decided to research Langley’s motivation behind the song and found an interview in which she talked about “Be Her.” She explains:
And that song, what it’s about, truly, is it’s not about being someone else, it’s about being the her you want to be. I think there’s things that every single person on this planet would like to see themselves do better as a human being, you know what I mean?
She went on to say that these are things she is looking forward to changing about herself.
I have a picture in my mind of the person I want to become—the person I believe God wants me to be. Every day, I fall short of that image. And it does hurt. I get frustrated. I get angry with myself. But I will not give up. Every morning, I wake up and try again.
All leadership must begin with self-examination. The greatest responsibility of a leader is not managing others. It is managing ourselves.
We must choose to develop the skill of leadership. We must choose to develop our character. We must choose to take the steps necessary to become the person we desire to be—the person we believe God created us to be.
We must choose to become someone different in the future than we are today.
Remember, self-leadership and self-examination do not happen accidentally. We cannot simply "want to be her so bad" and expect it to happen. Becoming the person we want to be—and the person God created us to be—requires hard work. It requires intentionality.
We must be intentional about:
Examining ourselves before attempting to lead others.
Choosing what is right over what is easy.
Aligning our actions with our values.
Practicing honesty, humility, and accountability every day.
Developing habits that reinforce our values.
Seeking feedback, embracing correction, and learning from failure.
Making decisions that reflect who we aspire to become.
Doing the right thing, especially when no one is watching.
Pursuing personal growth before pursuing positional influence.
Remember, as leaders, we are in this for the long game. We often overestimate what we can accomplish in a year but underestimate what we can accomplish in three or five years.
One step at a time. Bit by bit. Piece by piece. Little by little.
Ask yourself:
Am I leading myself well?
What kind of leader am I? At work? At home?
What habits hold me back?
What habits move me forward?
Pick one thing. One area. One piece of the image you have of who you want to be—who you believe you can become—and start.
Start today.
Because becoming the person we were created to be doesn’t happen all at once. It happens through the habits we develop and the person we choose to become every day.
Want it so much, as Ella Langley sings, “It hurts so bad!”
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